Well…. I have! And while it sounds bad it was actually helpful. Let me set the scene for you. As a Single, “forever 21” African American female, living in the DMV area, I’m constantly questioned about long term commitments such as marriage and having children. These questions are asked of me by my married friends, loving family members, annoying people, strangers, clients, kids, etc.
As I began to ponder on these questions, I decided to take matters into my own hands by trying my hand at online dating, AGAIN. I’ve tried a few different sites in the past but this time I heard about a site called Coffee Meets Bagel. I know what your thinking, what kind of man will I meet on a site called Coffee Meets Bagel?
Well guess what, it doesn’t really matter what you think because I decided to throw caution to the wind and try it anyway. And in a few short weeks, I met a guy who we shall call “Professional Midget.” (Sidebar, I give all the guys I meet nicknames so when I no longer speak to them it makes reminiscing about them even funnier when conversing with friends.) “Professional Midget’s” name was derived from his very professional profile pictures combined with his actual height being shorter than his profile height.
“Professional Midget” and I texted and talked over the phone a few times before we decided to meet up at a new uppity restaurant in DC called Sotto. Our date went well (or so I thought) and we both agreed to meet up again after I returned from Dubai. While basking in the glory of my vacation high, I decided to send him a text about possibly meeting up. He responded back and said he would be busy this upcoming weekend but maybe we can get together on Sunday. When Sunday rolled around and there was no call or text from him, I called him and left a voice mail.
A few days later, I hit him up via text and said hey stranger. He then responded back saying (and I don’t quote), Hi Leticia. Sorry I’ve been unresponsive lately. I had a great time with you on our date but I wanted to be honest with you. While you were away (for only 5 days, I might add) I decided to pursue a relationship with someone else. We’ll see if it works out. Sometimes relationships are about timing and unfortunately our timing was off…
My response was thanks for letting me know and I wish you all the best. He said, thanks. Now let’s stop right here. I know there are a few thoughts going on in your head as were in mine. Thought #1, really, dude you decided this in 5 days? Ok! Thought #2, that was really nice of you in a professional way. Thought #3, O well, your loss!
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little hurt. He could have not responded which would have left me thinking about what went wrong. In the past, when I met a man I wasn’t really interested in getting to know, I found it difficult to tell them how I felt without being mean. Sometimes, I would ignore phone calls and text messages because I didn’t know how to express how much I wasn’t feeling them. Overall, I really appreciated his honesty (or what I hope was honesty). From this experience, I learned two important lessons; a good way to professionally reject someone in a personal relationship and a new restaurant with good ambiance and delicious brisket.
Sometimes I believe I’m really just a commitment phobe who enjoys going to destination weddings and sleeping in the middle of the bed. Until next time, Ciao!