Surviving Jordyn

Hey everyone, I hope you’re ready for Christmas because it is rapidly approaching and will be here before you know it. I’m 11 months in to parenting Jordy B and it has been the most challenging experience I will never forget. I’ve managed to lock her in the car while the keys were locked in my trunk outside of the doctor’s office. Jordy B has managed to fall off the bed twice. I’ve allowed her to sleep a few nights in her pack and play and take a few naps in her crib. She’s probably eaten a few things off the floor that she shouldn’t have had. But all in all, we’re surviving and taking things one day at a time.

This single parenting experience has not been a walk in the park. I think having to care for and take care of this little person who solely relies on me for EVERYTHING has been the hardest adjustment. I’ve been single for thirty seven years and had a lot of freedom. But to have to give that up to take care of the best blessing has also been an internal struggle but one that I will never take for granted and wouldn’t change for the world.

The single most difficult thing I’ve had to deal with is Jordy B not having a relationship with her father. I know how important it is for a girl to have her father around especially because of the relationship I’ve had with my Dad. Her Father has seen her a few times but it will never replace him missing out on a series of firsts she’s experienced these last few months. It is my hope that he will realize the importance of having a relationship with her and make a better effort in the future.

On the other hand, the thing that brings me the most joy is seeing the relationship she has with my Dad. Even though her father has not been present, my Dad has shown her more love than I ever imagined. He’s so surprisingly gentle and protective of her I find myself laughing at the two of them and even when I think about it. The bond that they share will be one that I will ensure she never forgets.

Recently, I went to a brunch with some of my Baylor friends who have children around the same age. While we were eating someone asked, What was the most important thing you wish someone would have told you before having children? One Soror responded I wish I would have known how much support I would’ve needed. At that moment I wanted to reach across the table and give her two high fives and shout Hallelujah from the rooftop of that restaurant but my mouth was full of chicken and waffles so all I did was shake my head in agreement. Because let’s be clear without my parents, siblings, other family members and friends I wouldn’t have kept my sanity or my hair.

When I was pregnant, I never imagined I would need all hands on deck the way that I did but I’m glad they were available to me and Jordy B. I can also recall taking a hospital tour with my Mom and while we were there all of the other women were there with their significant others and I was the only one there with my Mom. When I got back in the car I cried because of the realization that I would be raising Jordy B single handed. Once again my mom was there to reassure me that I had the support of others and God would not put more on me than I can handle, I felt a little more at ease.

Alright everyone, gotta go because I need to finish Christmas shopping and planning Jordy B’s Winter ONEderland birthday party. Until next time….

Jordy B’s first Christmas

Jordy B not paying attention

Mama B, Jordy B, Zach Zach B

Jordy B and one of her Godmommy’s

OTR II Tour

So your girl went to see her favorite Brooklyn rapper, Jay Z and his wife, Beyonce in her hometown of Houston, Texas last Saturday night and was thoroughly impressed when they finally got on stage at 9:30 PM (in my sarcastic voice). The tickets said the show started at 7:30 PM so when Chloe x Halle came out a little before 7:30, I thought we were off to a good start. They performed their set which was good but I felt like the sound was too loud and drowned them out which made it hard to hear them sing their lyrics.

Then there was a pause between their set and when DJ Khaled hit the stage. By the way can anyone tell me why DJ Khaled has a DJ and he’s a DJ? But I digress.. DJ Khaled performed some of his hits with other artists and even did this dance that looked like he was about to trip over his feet. When he did it twice I got nervous.

After he performed he had a rendition of Houston’s got talent where a few of Htown’s best rappers graced us with their presence. Some artists included Paul Wall, Bun B, Trae the Truth, Kiotti, Slim Thug and Scarface. He even had an artist named Ingrid perform and Diddy’s son performed a song that sounded like Case’s song, Touch me Tease me.

When they were done Bey and Jay didn’t hit the stage until 9:30 PM, finally. They started off with a few hits they had together and then broke off to some of their individual hits. Some of the highlights:

Jay needs a haircut.

I love the way Bey accentuated Jay’s lyrics when they performed together. And when they were on stage together you could see the love they have between them is genuine and real now.

Jay was looking at Bey like Obama and Biden look at each other, like she was a snack, lol.

When Bey performed in her sequined onesies I was on my feet.

When Jay performed I sang along but primarily sat done. I saw him in concert last year and while I enjoy his music I’m not crazy about his onstage presence and performance.

By 11:30 PM, I was checking my watch and yawning because it was way past my bedtime. The concert ended at Midnight and I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Is it to much to ask artists to be more considerate of concert goers time? Overall, I enjoyed the concert and maybe now I’ll listen to their last album in its entirety because when they performed the new songs I was completed clueless, lol.

And don’t ask me where I was sitting and why those lines were in the way in my pictures. That’s what I could afford and I’m not ashamed to say it because ain’t nobody going broke to see Bey and Jay. Do you know how much day care costs a month? Until next time…..

The first of many!

Hey Everyone! I hope you enjoyed your summer and you’re ready to FALL into the final quarter of 2018. I’ve been taking a break from blogging because being a single mom and having a new home is HARD WORK! As I’m trying to get back into blogging I’m asking for you to hold me accountable but also be patient because I have some new ideas and things to share with you all.

This past weekend Jordy B had her first airplane experience to New Jersey. She handled it like a BOSS! Ok, not really but she did get compliments from people on the plane who sat near us. They said, “She’s a good baby”, “She’s so cute” and my favorite was “She didn’t make a lot of noise”. I was thinking to myself, what baby were they talking about? Is this the same baby who had a meltdown when we were making her bottle or the baby who cut up when we changed her diaper?

Overall, she was well behaved because we had all of her essentials which included noise cancelling headphones, her very own neck pillow, a blanket, a toy, bottles, baby food and my favorite, her pacifier. What more did she need? She needed her own seat because air plane seats are to darn small for the both of us. But I digress…

Jordy B, Mama B and I stayed with family and friends during our visit but of course we rented a small SUV to hit up the mall, two BBQ’s, Allan’s bakery to get some Currant rolls and Salem Missionary Baptist Church (my home church) in Brooklyn. Although, we didn’t do as much as I would’ve like to, the quality time spent with family and friends could not be replaced. And everywhere we went Jordy B was a celebrity. People wanted to hold her, touch her, play with her and take pictures with her. Below are some of pictures of our adventures in NJ. Until next time….

Jordy B and her cousins
Neets and Jordy B with Willie P with the photo bomb
Jordy B and I at my home church, Salem Missionary Baptist Church
Mama B, Jordy B, Mrs. P after church
1900 Albemarle Rd (where I came from)
Mi familia
Jordy B at the Piano (maybe the next A. Keys?)
Jordy B was ready to hit the mall

Willie P, Neets and Jordy B having fun at #Issahhousewarming

Keeping My Sanity

Hey Everyone! Since I’ve been back to work I‘ve been trying to figure out how to balance my new normal all while keeping my sanity. I feel like I need a vacation which consists of napping, eating, more napping, binge watching Netflix and other mindless TV. I’m not sure how parents with multiple children find time for themselves, their spouse or anything else because I’m always TIRED!!!! I’m so tired that I resigned from my part time job. Ok not really. The real reason was to spend time with Jordyn and because grandparents work until their 85 even on the weekends, lol.

As a new mom, I’ve enlisted family and friends to help with Jordyn because without them we would struggle. They’ve done everything from babysit when I went to get a massage and facial, to decorating Jordyn’s room (which she hasn’t slept in yet). I’ve also found a few helpful items that help make “mommying” a little easier.

1. Dock a Tot

This cozy little thing has allowed Baby J to get the best sleep of her life so far. She is even sleeping all night (on most nights). I don’t know if it’s the way this thing is constructed or the fact that she’s co-sleeping but she sleeps so good she drools and baby snores. She gets both characteristics honestly.

It’s also easy to disassemble and clean. It’s a little pricey, $185 but it’s worth the money. I was able to purchase it by combining gift cards together. I promise you won’t be disappointed and you cam thank me later.

2. Baby Brezza

This is what I affectionately call a Keurig for baby bottles. It perfectly makes your baby’s 2, 4, 6, 8 or 10 oz bottle at the right temperature. I don’t know who invented this genius product but whoever it was should win the highest honor a parent can give to another person.

If you struggled to breast feed like I did this baby will not disaappoint. This item is about $185 but the official website always has a sale or coupon code so it’s never full price. Or you can do like I did and put it as an item on your registry and pray that someone will buy it for you like my good friend did.

3. Nose Frida

Baby J is a snot monster. Even with a humidifier it’s like she always has some congestion. If you’re like me and you were disgusted when you saw a parent put their mouth over their baby’s mouth and blew hard so the snot came flying out of their nose then this is for you.

The Nose Frida allows you to stick one end in the baby’s nostril and suck out the snot from the other end into a tube which can easily be cleaned.

4. Boppy pillow

This little pillow can be used up until baby J is nine months. I used it in my attempt to breastfeed. I used it to feed baby J when I was on maternity leave. I use it for her to sit up in when I’m taking a shower and for tummy time. I took a nap on it by acccident. It’s multi-purpose and I love it. It also has different covers if you don’t like this flowery pattern. They have other kinds also for breastfeeding and newborns if your not interested in this one. It costs about $30 and would be a great item to put on your baby registry.

5. Graco Simple Sway Baby Swing

This little swing makes baby J happy. Can you tell? She takes naps in it and it puts her to sleep at night after I’ve read her a bedtime story. This was also gifted to me by a good friend and it wasn’t even on my baby registry. She told me you’re going to need this when you move into your own place and she was right. It vibrates, swings and plays music. What more can a girl as for? Swings range in different prices and sizes so do your research first. Not all babies like swings but give it a try and pray to the good Lord that your baby enjoys it as much as baby J.

I hope you enjoyed the gadgets that help me keep my sanity since becoming a mom. Let me know if you have any questions, comments or good ideas you would like to share. Until next time…..

Happy Mother’s Day

Happy belated mother’s day to all the mothers, grandmas, aunties, cousins and step moms! Is that a thing? Probably not. I know it’s been awhile but what can I say, being a single mom is hard work. Two days ago was my first mother’s day and I enjoyed it immensely. The whole weekend itself was one that was unforgettable and not long enough. On Saturday, Jordy B and I had a “Mommy and Me” photo session and she smiled her way through the entire session. She has so much personality and energy, I couldn’t keep up. She had so much fun she had to take a nap soon thereafter, lol.

After my mom purchased every picture at Portrait Innovations, we had lunch, hung out at the mall and later that evening, we spent time at my parent’s house. Here are a few images from our photo session.

On Sunday, Jordy B woke me up at 6:45 am because she was hungry and of course she refused to go back to sleep. So we watched a little TV and prepared to attend church. We fellowshipped at mom’s church with my brother, nephew and nephew’s mom. The sermon was titled, Mama don’t give up. He delivered a message that I felt was exactly what I needed.

My mom was so happy to have us all there you know she asked the photographer at church to take a picture of all of us. The only people missing were my dad and my sister. After that, even though I would have love to relax, a mother’s job is never done so I went to the grocery store, washed clothes and went to dinner at Seasons 52.

Side bar, if you go to dinner in the future at Seasons 52 don’t expect to bring home a doggie bag. The food is good quality but portion control is in full effect.

I know what you are thinking, nothing about my weekend sounded unforgettable. Well that’s thing while I didn’t do everything I wanted to do, being surrounded by my loved ones was more than enough. To top it off, I also received some memorable gifts, chocolate covered strawberries and mini cheesecake bites from Shari’s berries. Not only was my heart full but my belly was also.

On Sunday night, I called my mom to thank her for not only everything she’s done for me but also for everything she continues to do for me. She’s so selfless and her actions go unnoticed most times. I also cried while talking with her. I never understood how hard it was for her to raise my brother and I as a single parent, while my dad was away working until I became a single mother (under different circumstances). Her words were not only encouraging but also gave me hope. She told me I was doing a great job (even though sometimes I feel like I’m not).

Motherhood was not something I necessarily wanted to embark on. I would tell my friends if I didn’t have children I would be ok. But now that I am a Mom I would not trade it for the world. It’s been the most demanding responsibility I’ve ever had to take on but I know the best is yet to come. So stay tuned and until next time…..

Motherhood: my new normal

Hey Everyone! I know it’s been a little while but I have been adjusting to my new normal, Motherhood which really should be called, Who wants to work for Baby J?

The boss, Baby J

Baby J came into this world on the first day of the New Year and she has been very demanding since day one. Let me let you in on a little secret, motherhood is the hardest role I’ve ever have to fill in my entire life. No matter how many books you read or advice you get from professionals, family and friends all of that shit goes out the window when you have a living breathing human hollering at 3 am in your ear whose diaper has been changed and they’ve already been fed.

I would be lying to you if I told you the first few weeks were easy. Total opposite! I cried every day the first week I was home from the hospital because I felt like I couldn’t do anything right.

After having a C-section and being in pain for the first two weeks, I felt inadequate because I’m so independent and wasn’t comfortable having others do things for me. I questioned my womanhood because I was unable to breastfeed like I had planned to. The sleepless nights had me looking like who shot ya. Overall, I was looking for a label I could stick on baby J’s butt so I could return to sender, the hospital, a stork anybody!

But after I asked for help from my parents and expressed how I was feeling to family and friends the outpouring of support has been tremendous! My village rocks and have helped in more ways I could have possibly imagined. I forgot to mention that while I’m on maternity leave trying to bond and figure out motherhood, I’m also trying to move into my first house. And that process has also been challenging and a long time coming.

Slowly but surely I’m learning the do’s and dont’s of parenting. For example the people who say sleep when the baby sleeps. That sounds good in all but when am I suppose to wash clothes, bottles, my rear end or do anything else productive if I don’t do it when she’s sleeping? Also, people who say it gets easier as they get older. Really? As they get older they start sleeping less during the day and if your baby is like mine and likes to cuddle then you find yourself holding her to try to soothe and comfort her for longer than you planned.

But I’m not complaining because when I look at her as she’s quietly sleeping for longer than two hours, I say to myself, “I’m so in love with this little girl!” So pray for me and Baby J while we are on this journey and thank you to those who’ve encouraged me along the way.

If you would like to view a slide show below of Baby J’s birth announcement created by First day photo, click on the video below.

Until next time!

38 weeks….

Hi there! It’s almost Christmas and I wanted to share a few last thoughts about my pregnancy with you all. But first here is one of my favorite pics from my maternity photo shoot which I was initially hesitant about but I’m glad I went through with it.

5. Christmas shopping and holiday parties were not as much fun as they have been in the past. The people in stores don’t respect my belly and invade my personal space. I know I’m short but don’t try me because I will give you a dirty look, say something real disrespectful in my head and proceed to walk the other way. I know what you’re thinking, not you? Yep, people are crazy out here in these streets and until I get my license to carry, I’m staying away from altercations as much as possible.

And holiday parties just made me angry this year. Wine flowing, shots passing, champagne bubbling  while I’m sipping water wishing it was anything but. Don’t get me wrong I can enjoy myself without alcohol. However, if you know me you know I like to have at least one cocktail which is different from the old me. Because the old me over indulged at holiday parties and had to be picked up on 72nd Street in Manhattan by her best friend who was in Sheepshead bay in Brooklyn because I would have fell asleep on the train and never made it home….but you’ll have to pay me to hear the rest of that story!

And on the flip side since being pregnant and being out with friends at dinner and during the holiday season, I saved so much money not drinking alcohol that my bill at the end of the evenings has been the lowest at the table!!! WINNING because they previously were the highest, lol

http://www.whattoexpect.com

4. When a woman says, “I can’t wait to meet my baby!” that’s really mommy code for “I can’t wait for this food and energy draining human to GET OUT of my body”. Need I say more?

3. Swollen hands, feet and legs are uncomfortable AF! I’m not sure what causes these body parts to be swollen at the most random times but I feel like an elephant or Sherman from the Nutty Professor when he is transforming into Buddy Love. I can’t fit into many shoes and clothes and I feel like my feet may have grown a size and ain’t nobody got time for that.

20171224_182713766399959.jpg

2. Being pregnant has been the most mind-blowing experience I’ve ever had. From feeling a little human moving inside of you to all of these different emotions. Some days I was all over the place. I laughed when I wanted to cry, I cried whenever I wanted to and blamed it on my hormones. I’ve had pregnancy brain and I’ve had times when I thought about all of things I plan to do with Baby J when she gets older like travel, go shopping and stalk her on social media, lol. And my excitement over the last few weeks has been higher since her arrival is near because I can’t believe that I’m actually going to be a mom soon!

1. Last but not least being a mom and a first time homeowner is going to be challenging and I may even have moments of struggle but as Tiffany Haddish says all the time, “She Ready!”

Until next time… Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!