Hey Everyone! I know it’s been a little while but I have been adjusting to my new normal, Motherhood which really should be called, Who wants to work for Baby J?
The boss, Baby J
Baby J came into this world on the first day of the New Year and she has been very demanding since day one. Let me let you in on a little secret, motherhood is the hardest role I’ve ever have to fill in my entire life. No matter how many books you read or advice you get from professionals, family and friends all of that shit goes out the window when you have a living breathing human hollering at 3 am in your ear whose diaper has been changed and they’ve already been fed.
I would be lying to you if I told you the first few weeks were easy. Total opposite! I cried every day the first week I was home from the hospital because I felt like I couldn’t do anything right.
After having a C-section and being in pain for the first two weeks, I felt inadequate because I’m so independent and wasn’t comfortable having others do things for me. I questioned my womanhood because I was unable to breastfeed like I had planned to. The sleepless nights had me looking like who shot ya. Overall, I was looking for a label I could stick on baby J’s butt so I could return to sender, the hospital, a stork anybody!
But after I asked for help from my parents and expressed how I was feeling to family and friends the outpouring of support has been tremendous! My village rocks and have helped in more ways I could have possibly imagined. I forgot to mention that while I’m on maternity leave trying to bond and figure out motherhood, I’m also trying to move into my first house. And that process has also been challenging and a long time coming.
Slowly but surely I’m learning the do’s and dont’s of parenting. For example the people who say sleep when the baby sleeps. That sounds good in all but when am I suppose to wash clothes, bottles, my rear end or do anything else productive if I don’t do it when she’s sleeping? Also, people who say it gets easier as they get older. Really? As they get older they start sleeping less during the day and if your baby is like mine and likes to cuddle then you find yourself holding her to try to soothe and comfort her for longer than you planned.
But I’m not complaining because when I look at her as she’s quietly sleeping for longer than two hours, I say to myself, “I’m so in love with this little girl!” So pray for me and Baby J while we are on this journey and thank you to those who’ve encouraged me along the way.
If you would like to view a slide show below of Baby J’s birth announcement created by First day photo, click on the video below.
Hi there! It’s almost Christmas and I wanted to share a few last thoughts about my pregnancy with you all. But first here is one of my favorite pics from my maternity photo shoot which I was initially hesitant about but I’m glad I went through with it.
5. Christmas shopping and holiday parties were not as much fun as they have been in the past. The people in stores don’t respect my belly and invade my personal space. I know I’m short but don’t try me because I will give you a dirty look, say something real disrespectful in my head and proceed to walk the other way. I know what you’re thinking, not you? Yep, people are crazy out here in these streets and until I get my license to carry, I’m staying away from altercations as much as possible.
And holiday parties just made me angry this year. Wine flowing, shots passing, champagne bubbling while I’m sipping water wishing it was anything but. Don’t get me wrong I can enjoy myself without alcohol. However, if you know me you know I like to have at least one cocktail which is different from the old me. Because the old me over indulged at holiday parties and had to be picked up on 72nd Street in Manhattan by her best friend who was in Sheepshead bay in Brooklyn because I would have fell asleep on the train and never made it home….but you’ll have to pay me to hear the rest of that story!
And on the flip side since being pregnant and being out with friends at dinner and during the holiday season, I saved so much money not drinking alcohol that my bill at the end of the evenings has been the lowest at the table!!! WINNING because they previously were the highest, lol
4. When a woman says, “I can’t wait to meet my baby!” that’s really mommy code for “I can’t wait for this food and energy draining human to GET OUT of my body”. Need I say more?
3. Swollen hands, feet and legs are uncomfortable AF! I’m not sure what causes these body parts to be swollen at the most random times but I feel like an elephant or Sherman from the Nutty Professor when he is transforming into Buddy Love. I can’t fit into many shoes and clothes and I feel like my feet may have grown a size and ain’t nobody got time for that.
2. Being pregnant has been the most mind-blowing experience I’ve ever had. From feeling a little human moving inside of you to all of these different emotions. Some days I was all over the place. I laughed when I wanted to cry, I cried whenever I wanted to and blamed it on my hormones. I’ve had pregnancy brain and I’ve had times when I thought about all of things I plan to do with Baby J when she gets older like travel, go shopping and stalk her on social media, lol. And my excitement over the last few weeks has been higher since her arrival is near because I can’t believe that I’m actually going to be a mom soon!
1. Last but not least being a mom and a first time homeowner is going to be challenging and I may even have moments of struggle but as Tiffany Haddish says all the time, “She Ready!”
Until next time… Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Hey Everyone! I know it’s been awhile but I never knew how hard it would be to grow a human and work two jobs all while maintaining your peace of mind. I hope you enjoyed thanksgiving as much as Baby J and I did. We spent time with our family, ate everything within reach, consumed non-alcoholic beverages and slept as much as we could. Now I am counting down the days to Christmas, New Year’s and the day I can serve Baby J her eviction notice, lol. Or maybe it’s more like when she’ll be ready to make her grand entrance into the world.
A few weeks ago I was honored to have an amazing baby shower at my full-time job which was hosted by my co-workers. It was more than I expected and I’m so happy to work with a team of people who thought so highly of me and who puts up with my crazy on a day-to-day basis. A week thereafter, my Mom, best friend Aisha and two of my Sorors Setor and Eboni (aka Can’t Stop and Won’t Stop) hosted a baby shower for my family and friends. I’m so grateful to each and every person who planned, cooked, decorated, helped with setting up, cleaned up, made attended, made me look FAB and even those who were unable to be present but sent a gift. I’m overwhelmed by the caring and loving village of people who have been supportive of me during my pregnancy. It makes me emotional every time I think about how blessed I am!
Here are some pictures from the past events in case you were unable to attend. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did. Shout out to my photographers, my brother Julien and my cuzzo, Erika! Until next time……
Two weeks ago I had the pleasure of visiting Los Angeles, California for the first time with my cousin , soror, friend Erika. We decided not to stay in LA because it was so expensive so she snagged a deal on a rental car plus a free upgrade and we found ourselves in a Mercedes Benz SUV (nothing but the best for us) for under $80. WINNING!!!! So we proceeded to Pasadena, California to the Courtyard Marriott where Erika stays when she visits for work. Did I mention they also gave us a good price for our stay and their hospitality is remarkable!
I would be remised if I didn’t mention that the hotel staff were very pleasant and friendly. They were kind, thoughtful and truly sincere about making sure our stay the best. I also need to give a special shout out to Tiffany and Janeen who were the best front desk staff I’ve ever encountered. Tiffany and Janeen were so warm and welcoming that when we arrived to our hotel room we had this beautiful basket waiting for us which included a bottle of wine, some popcorn, a mini peach and pumpkin pie, two pairs of sock footies, a bouquet of flowers and a $25 cheesecake factory gift card. WINNING AGAIN!!
They even facilitated us bumping into Derek Luke!
And I was so excited! Prior to the trip, I told myself I wanted to see a celebrity while I was in LA and who knew I would bump into one in my hotel lobby. WINNING AGAIN! He was humble and FIIINNEEE and he ministered to us about restoration when he heard we were visiting from Houston. I could have gone home after meeting him but we had a two days left so we made the most of them, lol.
While we were there we did some sightseeing. Our first stop was our attempt to get a closer view of the Hollywood sign even though Erika’s friend told us we had to hike up there which would take approximately two hours. So we both decided we would drive as far as we could up the hills of hollywood where people with loooooong money live until we couldn’t anymore. Let’s just say on the drive up the hills, I was scared for MY LIFE (which doesn’t happen often)!
And let me tell you why. Reason #1, we were going up a very steep hill around winding curves which made me feel like I was on an unsolicited roller coaster ride. Reason #2, the street we drove up on was way to narrow (like in most Caribbean islands) and all the signs on the way up said, “residents only, no driving to Hollywood sign this way”. But we kept going unto we couldn’t drive anymore.
And at that point (as seen below) there was no place to park and we were expected to walk up the hill the rest of the way to the Hollywood sign. No thanks! I knew in that moment, I was going no further and whatever my cousin wanted to do I would wait for her safely in that SUV. She asked me several times to go with her and I gave here several reasons why I wasn’t. So she persisted without me.
As I sat in the car, patiently waiting, I realized I had no cell phone service because T-Maybe probably can’t afford to have towers up there. So with nothing else to do I played candy crush and watched other tourists drive by with our same intentions. Within a few minutes, my cousin returned and told me I made the right decision to stay in the car because the hike to the sign was a lot farther and steeper than expected. Don’t tell her but I I was low key happy she didn’t leave me for a long time because I was ready to get back to the low lying area of Hollywood.
Our next stop was to Beverly Hills and Rodeo Drive. We passed by the iconic Beverly Hills sign from Beverly Hillbillies and the police station from the sequel of Beverly Hills Cop movies. When we made our way to Rodeo drive which is only three streets long we parked and walked around for two hours.
Let’s just say we left empty handed because as Iyanla Vacant says, “let’s call a thang a thang beloved”, I can’t afford that ish. The only I walked away with is this picture below.
Next stop was the Santa Monica Pier, where we ate at The Misfit. I had a cheeseburger (my once a week must have pregnant girl meal) and my cousin had a chicken sandwich. We shared some truffle fries which were DELICIOUS and we had some salted chocolate cookies that were scrumptious. My cousin indulged in libations from the happy hour menu as i drooled and sipped on an ice cold coke.
We proceeded to the Third street promenade, picked up a few items and made our way to the Santa Monica Pier. But as we walked closer to the water, the air became brisk and we looked at each other and said this is as far we we’re going to go and retreated back to our vehicle.
The next day we visited the Hollywood walk of fame and saw stars in honor of our favorite celebrities even Bill Cosby.
We enjoyed dessert at the Ghirardelli store which was rich and filling and then headed to Downtown LA (aka DTLA).
There wasn’t much to see DTLA or maybe we didn’t try hard enough but we did enjoy some lite bites at Public school 213.
On our last day we slept in and went to Malibu beach (my happy place). Did I tell you the beach was my happy place? I was able to reflect, prepare for what lies ahead, relax and people watch. And even though we didn’t stay a long time it was the perfect ending to my baby moon vacay.
My trip to LA was just what the doctor ordered. I would definitely recommend a trip there if you haven’t already been. They have perfect weather which makes up for the horrible traffic. Please scroll below to check out more photos from my trip. Until next time….
10. Belly bands and rubber bands are God sent manna from heaven.
Let’s just say anything with elastic in it is the best thing ever created. I’m five months pregnant and I can no longer fit in most of my work pants. Also, I don’t want to spend a lot of money on maternity clothes because I feel like it’s a waste. So all the clothes I purchase moving forward will be one size bigger than what I normally wear, have elastic or spandex in it.
9. French fries are not my friend.
Who am I kidding, I LOVE FRENCH FRIES!!! If it was up to me I would eat them every day. I would rotate where I ate them from daily. One day, Chic Fil A, the next day McDonald’s, then Wendy’s, next Five Guys, maybe Whataburger, throw in Wing stop and home-made french fries to round it all out. However, if I ate them everyday I would be the size of a whale by Jan 3, 2018. And since all of those fries would be hard to shake post pregnancy, I’m just gonna pass on eating them once a day and maybe just stick to once a week.
8. Don’t touch my belly without my permission.
Why? Because I said so and it’s an invasion of my personal space. I also don’t like to be touched by any and everybody. So please if you want me to spare your feelings just be kind and speak before you leap because you might draw back a nub.
7. Finding pregnant safe activities are difficult to do.
Everyone knows I love a day party and frequent a club or lounge on the weekends. But it would be a little inappropriate for me to be seen in a romper or dress singing, “Wild thoughts” at this stage in my pregnancy. So I’ll just gracefully bow out.
But what now, I don’t really know what to do to fill the avoid. Everything I do now seems to include eating and since I don’t want to be a whale next year I’m open to suggestions about things I can do instead.
6. Indigestion is the devil.
If you know me well, you know I can be a little gaseous. But it’s on a whole new level and sometimes I wake up at night with heartburn. WHY LAWD!!!! I carry Tums every where I go and I’m sure my coworkers are ready to find me a new job. But I can’t help myself. So please bear with me for the next few months and I’ll do my best to keep it to a minimum.
5. I will sniff your glass of wine if you let me.
I know that sounds nasty but since I can’t drink it for a while just waft the scent in my direction. Because sometimes having a mocktail just doesn’t cut it and drinking everything out of a wine glass is NOT THE SAME! I know this doesn’t seem like a lot to most people but for me it is. I completely agree with this saying below and if you don’t, who asked you anyway.
4. I may need a breast reduction and lift after breastfeeding.
Because I was already well endowed pre-pregnancy and at this rate things will only go down hill literally and physically. So after I post this I’ll be starting a gofundme page for my cause and I would appreciate your support. Thanks in advance.
3. I’m grateful I don’t use public transportation while I’m pregnant.
I don’t know if I could take all of the personalities, smells and plain ol’ outlandish activity that take place on public transportation. I applaud pregnant women who have to use mass transit and I wish you all the best to and fro. May God and the force be with you!
2. Being pregnant in the summertime in Houston is my punishment for fornicating with First name: Jack Last name Ass!
Well hello there! I’m BAAAAAAACK and I know what you’re thinking it’s been awhile. Where were you? But what can I say life is…… COMPLICATED!
I recently celebrated my birthday and I have a lot to be thankful for. It has been such a blessing to live to see another birthday because when I think about what I was doing last year for my birthday and how much my life has changed since then I can truly say that I’m blessed! I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting over the last few months and I feel like I was at a point where I didn’t want to continue to blog. I’ve recently decided to give it another shot but first let me catch you up on a few happenings which took place since my last blog post.
In May 2017, I celebrated the union of my best friend, Aisha and her homie lover friend, Ramani.
I visited the 9/11 Memorial museum in New York City which left me feeling somber.
I stopped by the Smithsonian Museum of African-American History and Culture in Washington, DC which was overwhelmingly magnificent!
I took a road trip to my alma mater, Baylor University which looks completely different from the school I attended 15 years ago!
And last but not least, I found out I was PREGNANT!!!
Are you as surprised as I was? If you know me, I’m sure you are. As you’re trying to digest this information let me take a moment to be transparent with you. I am a Thirty something year old, Single Caribbean American female who was at a point in her life where I thought I would be ok if I didn’t have children because I was enjoying my life to the fullest. And like so many other women I know, I wanted to be married to my soul mate first and then have children. Well, it didn’t happen that way.
To be very candid, let’s just say I made a poor decision while “casually dating” a guy and realized I had unexpectedly become pregnant. And if I want to completely live in my truth, I was not excited about this news when I first found out. I was in denial and questioned if I was ready to have a child because I’m focused on purchasing my first house and thinking about where I wanted to travel to next.
After prayer and contemplation, I decided that this pregnancy was a blessing and I may not get this chance again. Also, a child doesn’t have to deter me from moving forward with my goals. So as of today, I am 17 weeks pregnant and nervous as hell about being a MOM. I’ve shared the news with family and friends and each of them were shocked but still very encouraging except one.
Every day I ask myself, “Am I doing the right thing because this is unchartered territory for me?” But when I think about all of the possibilities in store for this little life growing inside of me all fear and doubt escape me and joy fills my heart. Ultimately, I know that God makes no mistakes and he will never leave me nor forsake me.
So with that said please have a drink (preferably a glass of wine) for me to celebrate this new bundle of joy and I promise not to bombard my social media pages with annoying pregnancy talk about sweet pea aka peanut aka pumpkin aka the little bambino aka butterball. Until next time….
Two weeks ago, I had the pleasure of vacationing in Riviera Maya, Mexico for the second time in the last four years. On this occasion, I was there for a girls trip with 10 other women to relax and have one last hurrah before my bestie gets married in May 2017. It wasn’t what I would call my typical vacation where I engaged in some adventurous activities I wouldn’t normally do at home, but I was able to enjoy spending time with a group of ladies I’ve known for over 10 – 15 years.
We stayed at Oceans Coral and Turquesa for three nights and four days and enjoyed our time spent. Of course this resort was all-inclusive which means libations were a must have at all times. We also spent time doing some of my favorite things, going to the spa, sitting poolside, gazing into the ocean, people watching, chilling in the hammocks, eating, playing games and most importantly shopping. Let’s just say I slept good every night I was there and it wasn’t because the beds were comfortable.
We also requested the bride to be to participate in a Bachelorette scavenger hunt which was only 90% completed but she gets an E for effort. And last but certainly not least we had an unforgettable professional photo shoot around the resort with our custom-made shirts designed by a fellow Baylor grad, Nzingah Gross, Owner of Inclusive Randomness.
I’m not going to make you completely jealous of our Girls Trip in case you are in need of your own. But I do want to share some of my favorite pictures from our experience. I hope you enjoy them!